Work and careers are challenging – but so is the rest of your life. The truth is that you can’t separate yourself into parts where you label one part for work and another for your personal life. They each impact the other.
That’s why you sometimes need to look beyond problems with your boss or job to find solutions to your career issues. The reasons you ‘do what you do’ are buried in your psychological makeup, and this is why you repeat patterns of behaviour and struggle to find the solutions you need.
This is where counselling comes in. It gives you the space to look deep inside yourself to see what’s really going on. By understanding your history and what triggers you, you can begin to heal.
Whether you’ve taken a battering in your last job and need to recover, have had traumatic events in your personal life, found yourself blighted by addiction or are unable to break free of negative patterns, counselling could be the answer you’ve been seeking.
What is Online Counselling?
Counselling offers you a space where you can share concerns with a skilled listener in a safe, non-judgmental and confidential environment. By exploring your past and present experiences, you can understand how they’re linked to your current behaviours. This can help you move forward so your life feels more balanced, comfortable and healthy for you.
If you’ve worked with a career counsellor, you probably already know what personal counselling should be like. The difference is that personal counselling is about you as a person rather than you in relation to your job or career. Personal counselling helps you look at yourself as a whole being, not just the way you behave in one part of your life.
20 Reasons You Might Seek Counselling
There’s definitely no right or wrong reason to seek counselling. You can address whatever’s troubling you in life. Or what you feel is stopping you leading the life you wish to lead. Or you may not be aware of the cause of your unhappiness and the reasons why your life isn’t working.
If you’re saying any of the following to yourself, it could be a sign that counselling could help you.
- I never feel happy and I find it hard to enjoy myself or feel fulfilled.
- I have a pattern of feeling unfulfilled in relationships.
- I regularly feel low or depressed.
- I’m aware of patterns or history repeating itself in my life, and I feel unable to break the cycle.
- I’m struggling to complete tasks.
- I find it really hard to receive compliments.
- I often feel guilty or ashamed.
- I struggle to make decisions.
- I feel there’s something missing from my life.
- I always need approval from others before I make a decision.
- I always feel the need to do more and more.
- I never feel as if I’m good enough.
- I often feel there must be more to life than this.
- The Covid-19 situation is having a big impact on me.
- My brain feels foggy and my head is spinning – I can’t think clearly.
- I constantly feel as if I need to do or give more.
- I’m not sure who I am as a person.
- I don’t know what truly brings me satisfaction.
- I find it hard to care for myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
- I never feel well. I constantly have aches and pains, and I’m often ill.
Of course, this list won’t include every situation, so you may have other reasons for wanting counselling. Perhaps you’re being bullied at work, you’ve started to use alcohol or drugs to cope with stress., or you have difficult or challenging relationships with others at work or elsewhere. Maybe you feel stuck because of an underlying problem with your self-worth and never feel you deserve success or financial rewards.
In short, there are no right or wrong reasons to want counselling. If you feel it can help, it’s worth taking the next step and speaking to a counsellor.
Key Signs You Could Benefit from Online Counselling
There are some definite signs that indicate you’d benefit from counselling. The most obvious are anxiety and depression, in which case talking therapy could help you recover your mental health. Here are some others:
- Depression / low mood
- Intrusive thoughts / obsessive behaviour
- Unfulfilling relationships
- Childhood related issues
- Addiction/Unhealthy relationships with substances/food
- Low self-worth
- Health problems/recent diagnosis
- Angry/aggressive behaviour
- Trauma / Post Traumatic Stress
- Suicidal thoughts
- Personality disorders
It doesn’t matter whether those feeling have been brought on by work issues (hating your job, bullying, redundancy) or because of life challenges (illness, relationship difficulties, loss or trauma). Counselling can help you unravel what’s going on and give you the space and time to reflect on your experiences and emotions. That empowers you to find different ways to overcome them.
Recognising Your Patterns
One of the most powerful signs that you could benefit from counselling is the presence of repeating patterns in your life.
Sometimes we learn behaviours to keep ourselves safe as children, but when we take these behaviours into adult life, they hinder or limit us in some way. They somehow stop us from leading the life we wish to lead. These patterns often arise from unmet needs. That means that if you’ve developed behavioural patterns that are no longer serving you, counselling can help you identify them and find different ways to respond to the underlying need.
For example, if you need validation whenever you start a new job, that could lead you to constantly move from one company to another so you can get that validation. Something at the root of that behaviour is what counselling can help you recognise. It’s only when you see what you’re doing that you can learn how to change it. And this is what makes counselling so powerful: it uncovers the hidden triggers so you can see them and decide to respond differently in the future.
It’s easy to blame the fact that you hate your job on your terrible boss or dysfunctional team. But if every job you have brings you up against terrible bosses and dysfunctional teams, then there could be a limiting belief or behaviour within you that creates this experience.
Why Does Online Counselling Work?
Counselling helps you bring about change by exploring yourself so you can understand who you are as a person. The process helps you uncover the root of your unhelpful behaviours and patterns. Then you can make different decisions in the future, which can be a life-changing experience.
The power of counselling comes from the relationship between a counsellor and the client. In fact, the relationship itself has its own energy. One of the most useful aspects of counselling is that it offers a space where you can just be yourself. Within that space, there are no expectations to fulfil or obligations to deliver. That means you can say what you think without worrying about being judged. You don’t risk offending anyone and don’t have to worry that your confidence will be betrayed.
This freedom to express your thoughts and emotions helps in many ways. It releases tension from holding in your feelings, which is often a huge relief. By expressing your thoughts and feelings, you get them out into the open so you can see them for yourself and that makes it easier to acknowledge and recognise the feelings and patterns that have been guiding your actions.
Counselling allows you to go inside of yourself and understand your subconscious drivers so you can understand who you are and why you do what you do. It isn’t about taking you apart as a person and throwing out everything that’s not ‘right’. It’s about shining a torch so you can see what’s actually happening inside you.
Is Counselling Right for You?
There’s no right or wrong person for counselling. The only requirement is that you’re willing to enter into a collaborate process with a qualified counsellor walking alongside you as a guide. If you’re ready to have someone lift the lid and shine a light on what’s going on beneath the surface and begin to unravel the hidden patterns in your behaviour and thinking, counselling is right for you.
How do I get started with counselling?
There are a number of ways you can start working with me.
- You may be referred to Pamela by your Career Consultant.
- You may buy a package of services put together by Career Consultants or London Outplacement to help you find a new job or change career.
- You can book a session with Pamela from the websites without any referral at all.
Whether you wish to work short or long term in counselling with Pamela is your choice and she’ll always be led by you. You don’t need to decide before you book your first session. You can make your decision to continue working with her after we’ve started working together. You may then want to work with her for several months or even several years. It depends entirely on what you need and what is right for you. However, she’ll always recommend you have a mutually agreed ending session to reflect on your counselling journey.
Short term counselling: from five sessions up to six months
A short-term counselling programme might focus on providing you with coping strategies for a specific problem. For example, anxiety or stress. I could help you with breathing exercises, focusing techniques and meditation and so forth. That should help you manage the unpleasant symptoms you are experiencing.
Longer term counselling: from six months up to several years
The length of time you work with a counsellor depends on the complexity of what you bring to counselling. Longer term work enables you to dig beneath the surface to discover more about the anxiety. This allows you to gain an understanding of the possible triggers and possibly an awareness of what the root cause is. This process of discovery can be empowering and liberating, helping you bring about the change you desire
Why Work with Pamela Gilvear?
Pamela is a registered member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and she adheres to the association’s professional Code of Ethics.
She works in a way that acknowledges and respects the whole person: mind, body and spirit. By exploring who you are, you can unravel and understand the root of the disharmony causing problems for you – mentally, physically and emotionally.
Pamela is a pluralistic counsellor, which means she works collaboratively with her clients integrating a variety of theoretical models. These include: Person Centred, Gestalt, Psychodynamic, Attachment and Transactional Analysis. Working in this way gives her the tools she needs to adapt the counselling session to meet your needs. She always works respectfully, allowing you to set the pace and the aim of the work.
Although Pamela uses talking therapies, she also feels the client’s body stores a wealth of unconscious information. This is, often expressed physically through illness or body language, for example. When tapped into, this may help you understand and gain greater awareness of your unconscious behaviours and any pain or discomfort in your body.
Pamela meets the BACP’s standards of registration, which means:
- Her training course is accredited by the BACP.
- She has regular supervision to make sure her practice is ethical and follows good practice.
- She is committed to her continual professional development.
- She adheres to the BACP’s ethical framework.
- She is fully insured.
Pamela will never tell you what you should be doing with your life. Instead, she’ll help you explore what you want to do. When you heal the wounds and understand the root of your problems, you gain freedom and the liberty to choose your next steps rather than be compelled by hidden psychological drivers.
Do reach out by completing the form on this page if you would like Pamela to help you.